When I visited a class at Moran Middle School in Wallingford earlier this month, a student asked “Has Facebook changed the way you report the news?”
I responded that it has but admitted I couldn’t explain the specifics because I do not have a Facebook page and have never responded to a Facebook "friend request." Most of the students looked surprised. I told them that I should probably start a page so that I can better understand Facebook’s influence on news reporting. Almost three weeks later, I still haven't joined.
Yesterday, another one of those Facebook e-mails appeared in my inbox. It reminded me that seven people recently invited me to be their “friend.” I remember each of the individual friend requests. I considered responding, but never did. I've known a couple of the people for a long time but don’t run into them that often. I wonder if they keep track of the people who don’t want to be their friends?
I hate to blame everything on teen-agers but my sons soured me on Facebook a couple of years ago. Michael had just joined and I asked if he was going to friend request me. He told me it wasn’t cool for teens to friend request people my age, especially their own father. I told him I wasn’t like other people my age and was “cool” enough to be his Facebook friend. He wasn’t swayed.
A few months later I was talking to another parent we know from baseball and basketball teams. He told me that he and Michael were Facebook friends.
“Mike if I’m not cool enough to be your Facebrook friend why did you respond to Mr. Bradley’s friend request?,” I asked.
“Mr. Bradley is cool,” he said dryly, not realizing or caring about the wound he had inflicted. Believing your son thinks all 40-somethings are not cool is one thing, finding out that he considers some cooler than you is worse.
At first Facebook seemed to be for the younger set. Over the past couple of years I’ve noticed it has become popular with all ages. I’d be curious to hear from other people who don’t have a Facebook page about why they’ve avoided joining and others who have joined about the advantages. Let me know what you think.
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4 comments:
I started a Facebook page in college, but didn't start paying any attention to it until I graduated and started losing track of classmates and other friends who were moving all over the world.
It's good for networking, keeping in touch with people and staying in the loop with upcoming events or parties, and whatever's out there.
Your son just thinks you're uncool because you're his Dad. Most kids are like that by default until they realize you're no different than him, just more experienced and you've got kids to care about.
My mom is a Facebook friend and I still kind of get embarrased when she comments on my photos or whatever else I have on the page, but I'm getting over it, just like your kids will.
My college journalism teacher started his own Facebook page, and he's about your age. It's never too late to delve into the new technology.
This is a good subject.
I don't use Facebook nor do I have any desire to sign up.
First of all, I am very busy working and tending to my boys and household responsibilities.
Secondly, I don't have a desire to re-connect with people I haven't seen in the last 20 years. It's hard enough for me to keep up with a few friends via email or phone, never mind Facebook.
Finally, I don't like the idea of "being out there" for all to see and read about.
Ralph, you'll always be thought of as "cool" in our department!
I have a Facebook being a 20-something it is nice. Its great to be able to check up with old friends and also family members who are far away.
Luckily my mom is so technology stunted its incredible. My father could probably care less although he has a MySpace (for his band: sort of embarassing). My aunts and uncles have Facebooks and are friends with their kids.
I think its a teenage thing Ralph. Once you are in your 20s you are less embarassed by parents. I remember how "cool" I thought my friends parents were.
I must warn you though...once you join it sort of takes over parts of your day. You can see what a small world it really is. People who know someone, who know someone, who know you...etc.
News on Facebook travels the fastest of all. Once the "status" is updated forget it. I was so elated by my sister's pregnancy I put up "I'm an aunt" and neglected the fact she only told the future grandparents. The family went nuts with tons of questions. Whoops!
Good luck!
Thanks to everyone who responded.
Like Elizabeth, I'm not sure I have the desire to connect with people who I haven't seen in 20 years.
But I'm not sure that is a good thing. To be honest, whenever I run into someone I haven't seen since high school or college, I really enjoy it.
Mariel offers a helpful perspective on what it is like to be a 20something and another fear I have about Facebook. I am afraid I don't have time for it.
It is good to know my I'll be less embarassing to my children in the future.
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