When I came in from work on Monday night, my sons were arguing loudly about a Major League Baseball pitcher who was put on the 15-day disabled list. Danny, 14, felt the pitcher was being a slacker. Michael, 15, was arguing loudly that they don’t put major leaguers on the disabled list unless they are hurt. Last night all four of us were watching the Yankee game together, which was rare and nice, when they started arguing about the new Yankee centerfielder Brett Gardner. Danny isn’t so sure he hits enough to start. Michael believes he deserves a chance. Michael crowed when Gardner stroked a double.
For the past year or so they’ve been arguing a lot more and getting louder. They also argue about politics, movies, music and who is the most favored by mom and dad. Last week in the midst of an argument (I can’t recall the subject) they were getting very loud when the older threatened to punch out the younger and the younger (who has grown six inches in the past year and is taller than his older brother) told him to bring it on anytime.
I don’t like raised voices in the house. Never have. Not sure exactly why. So when the regular loud arguing started my initial instinct was to try to stop them or at least get them to lower their voices. That made both of them angry at me. My wife recommends letting them fight it out because they will learn more. At first, I had trouble doing that. Now I do try to stay out of it. The problem is that I would enjoy watching the Yankee game a lot more if they weren’t being so loud. I admit they seem to enjoy the verbal jousts. They don’t seem to hold grudges and it has not escalated to violence.
Any advice?
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1 comment:
I can relate. Although my boys are younger, and for the most part, get along well, there are times when bickering occurs.
I usually step in for two reasons. First, I tend to want to control and can't help myself. Second I am usually called upon to intervene. I hear "Mom, Chris/Michael/Blake called me/did this to me......"
Donald tells me to let them work it out, but I can't stand the yelling.
I have always told the boys they can come to me if they have a problem or if someone is being unkind to them. Also, I have told them to use words rather than hands to work things out.
It's hard to know when to step back.
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